I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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