so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I just shit out all my problems.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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