Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
as a side note pls kill me
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