...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
