I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
