I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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