I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
