Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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