Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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