he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
