Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
