I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
