was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
