Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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