his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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