Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I hate all girls vehemently.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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