Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
