i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
