Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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