so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
