It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
