You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
