69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
