I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I would ride that face into the sunset
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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