If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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