that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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