I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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