honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize