he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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