Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
