he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
