I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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