Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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