I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
pray to the hookup gods
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
