with your own penis?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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