thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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