You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
