we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
