Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
