first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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