I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize