Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
