why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
