Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
