Plan B is the new Plan A
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
