i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
