i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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