You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
