I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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