I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize