You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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