I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
