When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
