she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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