So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This is the high leading the old right now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
