I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
