For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
