Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
