what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My cat gives me a boner
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
